


Beautiful Nightmare

by tearsandholdme



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Derek's POV, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, Romance, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-21 07:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1541861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tearsandholdme/pseuds/tearsandholdme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles cries in his sleep but never remembers why when Derek wakes him. The soft sobs still break Derek's heart every time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this little prompt and just fell in love with the idea. Just imagine season three never happened. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Derek never really noticed it in the beginning. The soft dark bags under Stiles' eyes, the fatigue and tiredness he replaced with babbling and his ability to be constantly hyper somehow. It often left him annoyed and what felt like a headache once he finally left. What he really should have done was question it. Question why he wasn't sleeping properly but with everything going on around them it never came up. It all began though when he did his nightly rounds. It was his job as the alpha to check on his pack. Scott was the first house when he lingered outside listening. The soft voice of Melissa talking on the phone in the kitchen and Scott and Isaac upstairs in his bedroom playing on the Xbox. His next destination brought him to Erica and Boyd's small flat rented for them by him. It was what he could give to them for their own independence and safety. The lights were on when he listened carefully and regretted it once he heard the tell-tale squeak of bed springs. They were safe and that was all that mattered. His last and final destination was Stiles, the most important because he was human. The Sheriff's car was missing from the drive when he finally arrive. Derek bit his lip disliking that, he knew Stiles could defend himself but yet again, he was still human. 

The lights were all off when he finally arrived looking up at Stiles' window. It was silent and dark and he was about to leave when he heard it. It was a soft whimper and it was enough to get him to pause and scale the length of the house. The window was left half open letting in the cool summer breeze. Derek eased it open slowly, his feet careful once he stepped inside. It smelled of fresh air and the clean cut scent of Stiles when he inhaled deeply searching for danger. There was none to his relief but Stiles was a whole other story. The comforter was pushed off his body hanging off the side of his bed, sweat stuck to his forehead and his shirt was damp under his arms and stomach. The dream he was currently having was causing him problems, Derek sat carefully on the edge of his bed shaking him carefully.

Stiles woke with a sharp gasp, his hand reaching out to grip his arm tightly out of fear and confusion. His eyes were wide and dark when they met his through the darkness and he exhaled sharply eying him.

“Derek?”

“You were having a nightmare,” he answered, removing his hand from his shoulder carefully. Stiles' eyes tracked the movement while he breathed harshly, his heart beating a little too fast for comfort once he adjusted to being awake. 

“What – why are you here?”

“I check up on you all, every night, I heard you whimper and I had to check.”

“So you – you climbed through my window like a big creep?” Stiles asked, pointing at his open window. Derek frowned deeply pushing to stand and headed towards it to leave. 

“Thanks though,” he said weakly. Derek stopped turning his head to look at him. Stiles was sat up now, his damp shirt on the floor leaving him bare chested. He did his best not to stare when he turned his head to look at his wall. “The nightmares...they're constant.”

“You have them every night?”

“No, not every night, but thanks for checking up on me. You can go now, go brood, hunt little bunnies down,” he said in a teasing light tone. Derek scowled him but it didn't deter Stiles from grabbing his laptop.

“You're not going back to sleep?” he questioned, his eyes flicking to the alarm clock informing him it was nearly close to midnight. 

“No, I always stay awake till I fall asleep exhausted and my dreams are...dreamless. If I sleep now, I'll just have my nightmares and I'll wake up again but it won't be as pretty.”

The question was on the tip of his tongue when he trailed his fingers slowly across the window. “What are they?”

“What?”

“Your dreams?” he answered impatiently.

“Oh, I don't know, I can never remember them,” Stiles mumbled bitterly, typing on the keys. “So you going to go brood or do you want to watch some Bear Grylls with me?”

“What?”

“Plenty of space,” he offered patting the space next to him on his bed. Stiles raised his eyebrows at him slowly while he paused next to the window unable to decide. There was a conflict of emotions building up inside of him that Stiles could see. His small smile disappeared and he rolled his eyes flicking a hand at him.

“Oh my god, I get it, just go, don't let me conflict you,” he muttered, turning with his laptop to give him his back. 

Derek made his decision kicking off his shoes and taking off his jacket to fold up on his desk. Stiles looked over his shoulder at him in surprise when he sat on the bed, his body twisting to lie straight with the laptop in between them. It wasn't something he had seen before, he sat watching in confusion and slight disgust. Stiles often glanced at him amused till his tiredness slowly started to creep up on him again. It was around half one when Stiles dropped his head to his shoulder asleep. His hand closed the lid down once he shut it down and he took that moment to look at him. 

The light from the outside caused a reflection onto his face, his lashes on his cheeks created shadows and he hated how it caught his attention. Derek moved carefully, his hands carefully moving him to lie back down undisturbed. Stiles snuffled in his sleep, flipping over to lie on his stomach, his breathing resuming to soft and heavy. He left him after that returning home smelling Stiles' scent on his skin. Normally he'd have a shower the moment he got in but he left it, choosing to drop into bed and sleep the rest of the night away. 

*

From then on, Stiles' house was his first destination when he checked up on him listening closely for any sign of distress or a nightmare. For two nights it was okay, silent on the front of nightmares but it was the third night he arrived to hear a panting distress.

“No...no...” Stiles whispered in his sleep, his hands clawing into his sheets when he finally arrived. His feet soft on his carpet once he shut the window and shook him awake. Stiles woke clinging to him yet again when he stared up at him with wild eyes. Eyes that shone with tears while he desperately tried to suck in a breath to calm his racing heart.

“Checking up on me again?” he whispered faintly.

“I was passing by...”

“Bullshit,” Stiles laughed weakly, removing his hands to wipe at his hands and sniff deeply. “Thanks.”

“Don't mention it.” 

“I never remember them...” he said softly. “I just wake up like this...it's like they're so scary my mind forces me to forget the moment I wake up. I'm so tired though...”

“Do you need anything?”

“I think a liter of vodka would be great,” he joked lying back onto the cushions. “No, I'm fine. I'll lie here till I either fall back asleep or – or I stare at the ceiling till my alarm goes and then school.”

“That's not healthy.”

“No, but what can I do?”

“Get medical...”

“Help? They'll shove me onto yet more drugs or send me into therapy or whatever they choose to do with me. I tried the tablets...they made me drowsy all the time. I slept through my alarm, I felt like shit! I'll deal with it.”

“By waking up screaming?” Derek demanded sitting further onto the bed. “How is that better?”

“Because I've had this since I was eight years old!” Stiles hissed, slamming a hand onto his mattress to force himself up and meet his eyes. “I've dealt with this myself. Sometimes...sometimes it's okay and I can have nights without dreaming. They just prop up sometimes, like they want to be remembered and I don't remember them. But then again look at my life, look at what I'm surrounded by and been through? How don't you have nightmares?”

The question was like a punch to his chest when Stiles continued to stare at him. Derek couldn't deny the nightmares that plagued him after the fire. When he woke up screaming with Laura's arms around him, her gentle words in his ear when she comforted him. That was a long time ago now though and he swallowed hard, turning his head towards the window to look out.

“I know what it's like.”

“My mom used to help me and then my dad when she died and now...I think I scare him. I muffle the screams sometimes but the way he looks at me in the mornings sometimes...” Stiles whispered, his teeth pressing into his bottom lip hard. “Well let's just say it's not the best feeling in the world.”

Derek didn't know how to reply and the silence stretched out between them. Stiles sighed softly wriggling till he was lying back down, his hand tucked under the pillow so his eyes trailed over him.

“You can go if you want, not that I'm pushing you out, because I'm not. But I know this isn't where you really want to be right now.”

“Where would I rather be?” he asked gently.

“Anywhere but here?” Stiles suggested, a small smile playing on his lips. “But if you're going to do the extreme and stay...then stay till I fall asleep?”

Derek deliberated scanning the window before giving in and removing his shoes and leather jacket. He left them on his desk before sitting next to them on the bed. Stiles smiled at him, a soft but hesitant smile like he was afraid he was allowed to do it.

“Go to sleep, Stiles,” he murmured.

Stiles seemed to agree on that when he settled flopping onto his stomach and resting easily. One hand was tucked under the pillow but the other was reaching towards him, his fingers tips pressed against his arm like he needed reassurance. Derek swallowed hard glancing at the selection of books placed on his night stand. The first book was The Hunger Games and it caught his attention once he read the back. Derek read the first chapter when it hit him that Stiles was fast asleep, his breathing deep and peaceful while he slept next to him. 

“Well I've started now...” he muttered, turning the page onto chapter two. It was the kind of book to really catch your attention and keep you reading. Derek could start to feel the heaviness in his eyes, his eyes falling closed like he wanted to sleep. It felt like shutting his eyes and opening them again a moment later to day light. 

There was a crick in his neck and the book had fallen on his chest while he slept. Derek inhaled deeply pushing to sit up and look at the time. It was nearly half six and what had woken him was the Sheriff's car in the driveway. He swore softly under his breath leaving the book in his place. Derek paused glancing back at Stiles who had been curled towards him in his sleep and again he was peaceful. The Sheriff was in the house and he carefully moved out of the window heading back home. 

Derek didn't know what had happened when he finally arrived home stinking of Stiles' scent. It had latched onto him intermixing with his own and it made his wolf whine deep within him. He forced it down heading straight for the shower and scrubbing the soap over him. He bowed his head under the water breathing in and out deeply cursing himself. Staying over like that had been a mistake but going to him hadn't been because it meant learning more about his bad dreams. 

It wasn't spoken about though. Not with him and not with Stiles whenever they met up outside their nightly meetings. Stiles was happy and alert as always, never faltering, never bringing anything up to do with him coming around. Not like it was the others business where he went and what he did.

It didn't stop him from going over there though. It was three nights after the incident when he climbed through the window to see him awake and typing on his laptop.

“It's one in the morning,” he said slowly, closing the window with a soft thud behind him. 

“Yep, I have a science project, Monster energy drink, and a whole load of night. Here,” Stiles answered, handing out The Hunger Games to him. “I knew you were reading since you left it out when you ran away that morning. I heard you by the way.”

“Your dad came home.”

“Yeah, that's what you do after a shift normally,” he replied sarcastically. “He never comes into my bedroom. He always wakes me up and I tell him off, we argue, it gets us nowhere.”

“If he did, I don't think he'd appreciate seeing me in the bed of his seventeen year old son.”

“Oh you prude,” he whispered, smirking when he lifted his head to glare at him. “Come on, Cujo, you can read next to me.”

“Dog jokes?” he said, snatching the book out of his hands and sitting on the bed. 

Stiles smirked at his screen before continuing to type. Derek settled next to him with the book in his hand, one eye on the pages he was pretending to read, the other on Stiles typing his science project out. His scent was tinged with the smell of sweat and energy drinks, his heart racing a little too fast for his liking. It was heading to two in the morning when he finally took control closing the lid.

“Hey! I have like...a few more pages to type out!”

“When is it due?”

“What?”

“When is it due?” he repeated.

“Next – next week but Lydia is my partner!”

“Then it's a stars all round,” he muttered, taking his laptop off him. “You need to sleep.”

Stiles rolled his eyes but gave in shoving himself up and off the bed. Derek was left alone with his book while he waited for his return. He smelled like toothpaste and clean water when he returned shutting the door tight behind him.

“Thought you'd be gone already,” he said, climbing into the bed. “You want to stay? You don't have to but I sleep better...when you're...oh my god, it doesn't matter, you can go. God, this is like those teenage confessions you see in magazines...”

Stiles was curling up on the bed in embarrassment. The scent of it tinging the air so he sighed deeply, shaking his head before he shred the clothes to lie down next to him. Stiles' eyes were wide when he slowly turned his body around to face him, his fingers brushed against his t-shirt slowly. 

“Are you sure?”

“Shut up and go to sleep.”

“But are you sure?!” Stiles hissed, his lips twitching into a smile when he reached over covering his hand over his mouth.

“Shut. Up.” 

It got the response he wanted when he finally went quiet, his head resting on the pillow so he occasionally glanced at him. 

“Big scary alpha...” he murmured.

“I'll knock you out if you want some help.”

Stiles ignored that comment closing his eyes, his body finally relaxing for a good night sleep. Derek got settled next to him, the book in his hands when he read it ignoring his own mind. It was questioning why the hell he was doing this when he could simply leave Stiles to it. But the other part of him didn't want that, he knew the real terror of nightmares. The fear of not wanting to go to sleep at night to fight them off, if you didn't sleep then you didn't dream. Derek didn't want that for him. He wanted him healthy and fighting it. No matter what. 

*

It was becoming more and more like a routine. In the day he rarely saw him what with school and the evening if they did see each other it was with the rest of the pack. But at night he found himself going to check up on him. Most nights it looked fine but others it was the small soft sobs that found him in the bedroom. It was either waking him up or soothing him to sleep through his dreams. That was often the easiest route when he gently ran his fingers through his hair to soothe him. It worked most of the time, his panting distress smoothing out so he breathed evenly. The wrinkle in his forehead evening out so he slept better and Derek felt accomplished. 

“I know it's you, you know,” Stiles said softly. It had been weeks now since he discovered the real reason and now Stiles was stood in his loft. “I know it's you who comes into my room at night and...does something to stop my nightmares. You leave mud on the floor and my window closed at night.”

“It's a bad idea to have your window open at night.”

“Yeah, like an alpha crawling into help me with my nightmares. Which are increasing by the way, they only stop when you're there. Who knew,” Stiles said, shrugging his shoulders up and down dramatically. “I can sleep like more than eight hours when you're lying next to me.”

Derek swallowed hard hating the warm glow in his chest at those words. His wolf practically preened deep inside of him like it knew. 

“What do you want, Stiles?”

“I want you to stay with me, every night, if you can. My exams are coming up and I need all the sleep I can get before revision really kicks in. Just stay with me at night.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Don't try the defensive route when you come to me every single night. My dad is tending to do nights now and he sleeps during the day. He's never there meaning you won't be caught plus you'll help and – and I know you like it! You wouldn't do it if you didn't, you wouldn't have stuck around. Plus it's getting to know you a little better...at night.”

Stiles was ranting and rambling, his hands twisting together where he stood stinking of nerves and regret. Like he realized what he had said and was regretting even saying it. Derek wanted to protest, a small part of him wanted to tell him no and tell him to go away but he didn't. The conflict never ended within him. His better judgment took over though when he sighed deeply shutting the book he had.

“Fine.”

“What?” Stiles questioned stunned.

“You heard me. I'll stay.”

“Willingly? Or because you believe you have to do it because you're the alpha and all that bullshit,” Stiles gestured with his hands. There was a dull hope in his eyes that drove him to stand and inhale deeply to keep that measure of calm.

“Willingly, Stiles, I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to.”

Stiles smiled, a soft but hesitant smile, he nodded quickly kicking his foot at the floor. “Okay, thanks.”

It began like that. Crawling through his window around eleven at night being careful of nosy neighbors and the Sheriff not being in. Stiles was always awake or half asleep when he arrived lying down next to him. Stiles sometimes lay away from him or curled towards him, his hand resting on his arm . Sometimes he slept, sometimes he didn't, and sometimes he found himself watching him sleep. It was only when he looked away was when he realized how creepy he was being. No one liked to be watched while sleeping. 

It worked for the most part. The bags underneath his eyes slowly disappeared, the nightmares lessened and it worked for both of them. If there was lack of sleep on his part, he slept through most of the day instead. But sometimes it didn't work and they really knew about it. 

It was two months into it when Stiles woke up with a scream. It startled him out of his own doze when Stiles fought still wrapped up in his nightmare. His yells increasing when he fought with his sheets sitting up.

“Stiles! It's okay, shush, it's okay,” Derek murmured, wrapping his arms around his damp body tight. He shushed him softly waiting till he woke up inhaling and exhaling shakily. Stiles dug his hands into his arms swearing softly under his breath, his head pressed against the side of his and Derek could smell his tears. Stiles trembled in his arms, the nightmare still under his skin when he eventually relaxed against him.

“Can you remember?”

“Pain, so much pain,” he whispered, wiping his cheeks and sniffing deeply. “Oh my god...”

“You're okay, come on,” he encouraged, leading him to lie back down again. Stiles' cheeks and eyelashes were still wet with tears when he looked at him. Derek rolled onto his side to face them, an inch of space between them while Stiles calmed down.

“Distract me, tell me something to distract me.”

“Like what?”

“Anything. New York, if you can talk about it.”

“Well,” he began, swallowing back the lump in his throat. “It's different than Beacon Hills. Vast, unknown, we lived in a one bedroom apartment. It was all we could afford before the life insurance kicked in and we were handed all this money. Laura got jobs being a waitress, serving in a bar, anything to get the money in and pay the rent. I had nothing to do but...think.”

“Think about what?”

“Everything. It was hard not to think about it all. But New York had it's...advantages.”

“What kind?”

“Clubs, an ID to get in, drink...distract myself in booze, food, and anything else to forget the nightmare we left behind.”

“Would you ever go back?” Stiles whispered, his fingers tracing the inside of his wrist. It drove a shiver through him that Stiles noticed. 

Derek had thought about it once or twice. When he left following after four days of no word from her, he left the apartment they had behind not caring about rent or anything else. But Beacon Hills was his home now, he had responsibilities here. New York was gone now and there was no going back.

“No.”

“I'd love to see New York,” he whispered, sniffing and meeting his eyes. “I'd love to travel. Pack a bag, take some money, one massive road trip.”

“Leave everyone behind?”

“No, take them with me, send my dad a postcard now and again but I'd always come back.”

Derek didn't respond and he didn't have to when the conversation to distract him started to die down. His fingers that were trailing over his wrist drifted further up his hand so he held onto it. There was a question shining in his eyes from Stiles but he didn't pull away, he squeezed it in return. 

It was drawing close to four in the morning when Stiles finally started to close his eyes again. His heart a calmer rhythm and the fear gone when he remained close to him until the sun started to rise. Their hands remained intertwined when the alarm informed him it was half six and the soft purr of the Sheriff's engine arrived. Derek removed his hand slowly, pressing it against his neck gently so he exhaled softly leaning into his touch. It was something he had never planned for but here it was. 

Derek left once the Sheriff was in the house yet again and he walked home. His head was clouded with his own thoughts while he walked through the woods. Stiles' scream and yells during that nightmare had scared him. It had struck something deep within him and all he could was comfort him with words and touch but a part of him felt like he wasn't enough. Derek wanted to know what was so scary that it left him frightened like that, why they continued, and why he forgot. But then again maybe it would be a question he could never have an answer for. 

*

It was bound to happen when the others finally started noticing something was up.

“Why do you smell of Stiles?” Scott questioned him one afternoon. It was four months since it began and he probably shouldn't be surprised that his scent now smelled of him.

“What?”

“You, you reek of Stiles and Stiles...he smells like...you,” he said slowly, his eyes flitting up and down him. “Is something going on? Like...a relationship or...?”

“Nothing is going on.”

“Then why do you smell like him?”

Derek took a moment looking out of the window to see the high sun. “Nightmares.”

“What?”

“That's all you need to know,” he said, smiling gently seeing his frustration. Derek knew he'd go to Stiles for answers next. He wasn't being cruel, he just didn't believe it was any of their business just yet. 

Once Scott figured out, so did the others. Stiles was awake and tapping his nails against his leg when he crept into the room silently. The Sheriff was in the house and thankfully currently asleep.

“I got questioned by them all today. Lydia, Allison, Isaac, Erica, Scott, and even Boyd questioned me why I smelled like you!”

“What did you say?” he murmured, sitting down on the bed next to him.

“What was I meant to say? Oh, I have nightmares that leave me screaming or crying in the night, he sleeps by my side to keep them at bay, and sometimes, just sometimes, we cuddle,” he said, whispering the last word. Derek rolled his eyes while Stiles chuckled softly. “I didn't answer them properly. They're a little frustrated, probably thinking we're fucking or something. Behind their backs for months on end.”

“Let them think what they like.”

“You told Scott though, he's now questioning me about nightmares. Thanks,” Stiles whispered, hitting his arm so he scowled at him. “I'm not afraid of telling them, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, at first, it was a little weird. Still is a little bit weird, you and me, sleeping together on the same bed. We talk...I never imagined you saying more than three sentences.”

“I'm not a robot, Stiles,” he muttered, turning his head wanting to look at his eyes instead of his hands. “I can have a conversation.”

“Yeah, I know, that's why I like this. Getting to know you better, just you and me.”

It was such an honest sentence. It left the warm glow in his chest like a blazing heat and he didn't know how to answer to it. Stiles grabbed his laptop putting it between them so they could watch Netflix, an earphone in an ear each so they didn't wake his dad up. The Sheriff was in a deep sleep though and he didn't need to worry about it. Stiles' head ended up on his shoulder in his dozy state before he finally rested against his chest. Derek didn't have the heart to move him and he closed the lid of the laptop. Stiles was sleeping before he knew it and he was prepared for the long night ahead. 

Stiles remained resting on his shoulder and chest, his hand fisted into his top. His fingers trailed into his hair while he stared at the ceiling, he listened intently to his surroundings making sure there was nothing out there. There was nothing more vulnerable then being asleep. His thoughts were distracted when Stiles started twitching in his sleep, soft sobs escaping his lips that even now still broke his heart. It was such a pitiful sound that left him shushing Stiles softly, his fingers stroking the tears slipping down his cheeks slowly.

“God, I'm so stupid,” Stiles whispered in a cracked voice.

“No, you're one of the smartest people I know and this,” he murmured, brushing a stray tear away with his thumb. “This will go away, I'll make sure of it.”

“You can't know that, I could have this the rest of my life.”

“Then we deal with it.”

“We?” Stiles whispered, raising his eyebrow, a small smile twitching on his lips.

Derek didn't know till now but he nodded his head slowly to the question not said. It shouldn't have surprised him when Stiles leaned in kissing him. It was a chaste brush of their lips, the taste of salt lingering from his tears when they parted. There was a question shining in his eyes yet again that he answered by pulling him back in. His lips were soft and warm, sweet, with a taste of salt he couldn't escape. Stiles' fingers brushed against his cheek slowly and his hand cupped his neck keeping him in place. Their need for breath parted them but he remained close to him, their foreheads brushing when Stiles leaned in further to him.

“Wow,” Stiles whispered dazed. “If is this is really my nightmare then I am going to wake up so pissed off.”

“Go to sleep,” Derek murmured, stroking his fingers into the back of his hair. Stiles leaned in kissing him a second time, a tentative brush of his tongue against his bottom lip sent sparks running inside of him. His chest was his cushion when he resumed sleeping, his hand taken by Stiles' fingers sliding in between his. 

It was both overwhelming and fitting. Something he hadn't been looking for all those months back doing his nightly route. Derek wouldn't want to change it though. He had his nightmares, Stiles had his, now it was time to make a few good ones and heal the both of them together.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr - agentbuckybarnes - come say hello!
> 
> Thanks for reading (:


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